Although the day passes, the pain feels like a dry pill, latching onto the sides of your throat. the harder you swallow, the more pain and tears it causes. it's as if in that pill you're trying so desperately to down, there contains the day's christian necessities - communication with God, consideration for others, a smile for those you are demonstrating Christ to. How abrasive when not swallowed down with the realization of grace and love.

You see, if i take any step forward without the right heart, I'm disregarding Christ and the gifts he's given- i.e. the Holy Spirit. Instead i substitute the cold cup of grace with a very arrogant, very haughty and holier-than-thou "no thank you. i can swallow this pill on my own." Without realizing it, i attempt to produce the fruits of the spirit. as if i have power to make such things grow!

no matter how much of an apple tree i am, no matter how long I've been one or how experienced i am at it, i can't pop out apples on command. That's not my job. That's not how I've been created.

I am, we are, just required to be an apple tree. So, stand there and let God do what God does best. take in the nutrients of the sun, the earth, the water. don't reject what the Lord is giving you. Instead, soak it up. By humility, you grow. By grace you will not produce, but be a product of the Lord's green thumb.